The song you are about to hear is:

-Category 1:
-Ear cleaning, can also be used instead of cotton buds. Sometimes referred to as "Metal", "Hard rock", "Electronica" etc., and although closer to noise than to rhythm and impossible to reproduce by mouth, younger fellows like them and one can't help sometimes overhearing them in the metro, in the form of a flat metallic noise escaping from the iPod of the teenager beside you in (very) low-rise jeans and a somewhat threatening look.

-Category 2:
-Office-environment adapted. Medium-level decibel music that will not threaten your ears, or your job for that matter. Sometimes described as Boring, it is the music I intend to play most of the time, boring being a very relative notion indeed: what can be more boring than a screen with an .xls table anyhow?

-Category 3:
-Bedroom adapted. Multiple usages possible, and I shouldn't be giving you a lecture on this one… As a general rule, if you don't confuse office and bedroom (and I fear some of you will…), everything should go smoothly. If not, get in touch with me personally, with your picture attached.

-Category 4:
-Extremely old music,  aka as "classical".  Usually preferred by older  people with serious conditions, it still deserves some respect: some of the best classical music was written by deaf composers and people used to listen to it while actually played on a stage with voluminous instruments, without Podcasts. Although this presupposes a PC beside your bed, this music will help mitigate your tinnitus, which you propably have if you belong to the relevant age group.

Those categories are not exhaustive: 
There are also 
-Songs to hear in your convertible car on a summer evening 
-Songs to play to annoy a nasty neighbour
-Songs to irritate your ageing parents
-National anthems
-Christmas carols
-Military marches
-Noises (Nina Hagen in her early days, Rita Mitsouko, to name just a few)
-Cringeworthy music (Andreas Vollenweider, or worse, Richard Clayderman, Helmut Lotti, Paul Mauriat)
and more. I am NOT going to play any of those, as I swear I am not going to play the following:
-Elevator music
-Healing, zen, buddha or other esoteric and mystic, yoga stuff: Birds chirping, water flowing and wind blowing through the trees. Ask your doctor for a prescription if you feel you may need any of the above, I am just the piano
player
-The soundtrack of Trainspotting (although I might play  David Lynch's soundtracks, sort of a personal vice).